Children, obey your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. 2 Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother — this is the first commandment with a promise — 3 That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3 AMP
Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you. Exodus 20:12 AMP
Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you. Deuteronomy 5:16 AMP
Honor your father and your mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. Matthew 19:19 AMP
Jesus gave us two commandments: love God and love your neighbor. This love is agape – seeing others as valuable and precious – the love of 1 Corinthians 13. He defined your neighbor as being every person you know – this includes family. Each of us is commanded to love with no exceptions – therefore we have no excuses not to love. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and their children. Wives are commanded to love their husbands and their children. Children are commanded to love their parents and they show this love by honoring and obeying and being courteous toward their parents.
Both children and parents have a responsibility to each other. Children should honor their parents even if they think that their parents are demanding and unfair. Parents should gently and kindly care for their children, even if the children are disobedient and disagreeable. Both should be thoughtful and loving toward each other, putting each other’s interests above their own.
Children are to honor and obey their parents because:
It is right
It is a commandment
It’s a blessing of well-being
Long life is promised
This is the fifth of the Ten Commandments and the first commandment that has a promise attached to it. The promise is that your life would be lengthened, or extended, and that it would go well with you in the land which the Lord gives you. What a great promise – you will live longer than you would have otherwise – that means that you will be healthier than you should be at every age. A blessing of long life, favor, possessions, health, and blessings are pronounced over you when you honor and obey your parents!
Why wouldn’t anyone want these great promises over their lives? Unfortunately, too many people are too ungrateful, angry, unforgiving, selfish, self-centered, and/or entitled to obey God’s Word and honor their parents. We don’t honor our parents just because they are super, duper parents, because no one is perfect. Some parents did a better job than others; however, we are to honor them just because they ARE our parents.
When society honors their elders, then the wisdom of the elders is passed down the generations. However, when the younger generation thinks they know it all and that their elders are ignorant then society can do nothing else other than spiral downward.
If you are angry at your parents: Ask yourself why you are angry. Take it to the Lord; measure it against the Word of God. Ask yourself if you have a right to be angry. You may be angry because of things they did or didn’t do or it may be because you responded badly to things that happened or because you just had a bad attitude. Confront those feelings; acknowledge your anger and also the cause of your anger; ask the Lord to help you to release the anger to Him. Make a conscious decision to forgive them and to let it go and let it drop. Ask the Lord for forgiveness for the anger you have held onto.
If you are bitter and unforgiving: Do the things above. Forgive; let it go; let it drop. Ask the Lord to forgive you and to help you get rid of bitterness.
If you are selfish or self-centered: Repent and as the Lord to help you to walk in love. Start preferring others before yourself. Go and serve your parents in any way you can. Love them; be kind and patient and generous with them.
If you have a victim mentality: STOP! Remember that you are not the center of the universe and the sun does not revolve around you! Forgive – and then go help and serve others.
If you are ungrateful: Stop focusing on the negatives. Look for the positives. Make up your mind to appreciate all the good things your parents have done for you and the positive influence they have been for you. If you think you can’t find anything good then at least be thankful that they gave you life. Most of us have much more than that to be thankful for anyway.
If you have a sense of entitlement: Acknowledge that you have been spoiled. Realize that you might be an ungrateful person and decide to start appreciating things and people and to be grateful. Realize that no one owes you anything at all. Life is an empty cup – you must fill it!
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Colossians 3:20 AMP
Children are to obey their parents in everything. This means to obey: in all things; all (manner of, means); always; daily; in as many as; thoroughly; whatsoever; in the whole (completely); whosoever.
The obedience God requires includes inward reverence, as well as outward acts. There is a difference between obeying and honoring. To obey means to do as you are told; to honor means to show respect and love. One is an outward act; the other is an attitude of the heart. We obey God first and parents second. Obedience to parents does not include or involve disobedience to God and His Word. Adult children are not asked to be subject or subservient to domineering parents. While children are under their parents care, they are to obey. However, the responsibility to honor your parents is for your whole life long.